


Only you

by mechanicsofabrokenheart1



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 20:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechanicsofabrokenheart1/pseuds/mechanicsofabrokenheart1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pain she feels is like hell but it is nothing compared to what it is in her heart. But she still needs Emma to come and send Henry to school. Fluff with heavy make out session for our ladies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt for my 600th follower on from Tumblr – xkitcas: Regina gets her menstrual cycle which after connecting her magic with Emma's (coz they have sex) is hurting like bitch and she can't get up.

"Fuck!" Regina screams at the top of her lungs.

The pain she feels in her lower abdomen is sharp and makes death an appealing option.

It's that time of the month again that reminds her that her biological clock is ticking without mercy. Yes, her body is 37 but she is 61.

"Fuck." Another scream and she is thankful for the soundproofing spell she did when Emma visited her last. And she is thankful for the astonishing skills the blonde has in the bedroom that made her too tired to undo it.

Speaking of Emma.  _Emma_...What kind of name is that? And more importantly why does it sound like mantra in Regina's ears? Nobody is there to answer her. It's six in the morning and the blonde left five hours ago.

But the pain that has Regina curling up on her bed is again Emma's fault. Ever since they started having...

Regina's eyes shot opened. It wasn't just sex or fucking she has done with the others. No that was surprisingly tender leaving her yearning for more every time. Not to mention that magical cloud show in the room. No, that wasn't sex.

But it's not that four letter word, Regina snaps at her thoughts. That can't be it. Emma who still wants to run every time things get hard can't do love, right?

Another shot of pain and feels her inside being torn apart. She can't get up. She tried. Damn, she has been trying for the last hour or so but without luck. Every time she raises her head it all starts spinning and piercing her.

She has to call Emma to come and make Henry breakfast and send him to school. Who else but the blonde will willingly come to her house and make her son breakfast? Nobody except Emma. She has only Emma.

Not that she has her in any way. The blonde comes every single night, has her way with Regina, and leaves. The next night is the same. Regina's body is utterly satisfied but her soul is left craving for more.

But no one else will. And Regina has been debating with herself for over an hour. It's time to admit that she needs Emma's help.

Regina reaches out grabbing her phone and scrolling down till she sees Emma's name. The phone rings and her heart beats faster. A few seconds later she is greeted with silence.

"Emma?" She whispers.

"Um..." Comes from the other end of the line.

"I..." Regina doesn't know how to continue. "Well...I...Can you co-..." Regina grows as the sharp pain cuts through her belly.

"Regina, you 'kay?" Emma's voice comes out hoarse.

"No. It hurts, Emma." Sounding so pathetic is not something she has used to. But the hope that the blonde might care feeds her.

"I'm coming."

And before Regina could think of saying "No" the other line is closed.

 _Here comes the Savior_ , she thinks and a pink cloud suddenly appears with the Emma in the middle dressed in her usual tank-top and boxers as a sleep wear.

Emma sways a little and shakes her head.

"Is that time of the month?" She asks and receives a nod.

"Can I make coffee first?" she pleads knowing that this is going to be long day.

"Coffee is a must, Emma."

And just like that they are back to the routine they were in for the last six months. Regina gets her period that hurts like hell. She calls Emma. Emma comes and makes coffee first. Then she takes care of the brunette.

 _But why the doubt_ , Regina asks herself. Well, that is easy. No one cares about her. She is evil. Period. And she is not used to being taken care of. She is not used to calling someone in the middle of the night crying for help. She is not used to someone caring about her. But Emma does. Or at least she hopes it's not just gratitude for the...whatever is between them.

The blonde comes back with tray containing two mugs with coffee and glass of water, puts them on the night stand next to Regina, and walks into the bathroom. The search for the pain pill doesn't take long. She knows exactly where the pain meds are. She grabs them and the sight before her eyes when she enters the bedroom melts her heart.

Regina is reaching out slowly to the glass of water. The shaky hand barely holds the cup.

"You...you need help?" Emma asks, afraid that she might be yelled at. The Evil Queen doesn't need her help. She is not some pathetic woman.

"Yeah..." An uncertain response comes from the other woman's lips.

It echoes in Emma's ears and feels like music. It feels like...For the first time in her life someone needs her. Someone trusts her enough to let her take care of her. For the first time in her life she wants to help someone without expecting anything in return except a smile. Because honestly, Regina's smile is the most magnificent thing she has ever seen.

Regina takes the pill, and with Emma's help, she drinks the water. It is maddening to feel so content with this situation and not know what you are exactly to each other at the same time.

 _Love is weakness_. Her mind sings that old song again. Nevertheless green eyes give her the strength she needs at her weakest time. Even when she was at the bottom, Cora's death, the other woman raised her up with the softest touches and most tender caresses. There was nothing sexual in the way Emma picked her up in bridal style and carried her to the mansion. There was nothing but "I need you" in the way Regina turned her back to the other woman waiting to be spooned. There was nothing but "I'm here for you" in the way Emma glued her body to the Queen's trembling form.

"Did you figure out where the pain comes from?" Emma's tender voice cuts her thoughts.

"No." She looks up and shakes her head with too much force because the room spins.

Regina throws herself back on the bed with a sigh of frustration.

"Does it...Is it connected with...our magic being combined when we are together?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Ms. Swan. You are not that good." The snarl remark is out before she can stop it. She could sense that Emma's not happy about it. Damn, the connection of their magic is painful yet it is like drug for her.

Emma fights back the urge to respond. She gazes at the woman resting on the bed and smiles, thankful that brown eyes are covered by a hand.

"Oh." Regina squirms from pain and bends in two wrapping her hands around her middle section. She has her back to the other woman.

Emma smiles again at the invitation and slides behind the woman dressed in silk pajamas in no time. Her hands cover Regina's and she hears a sigh of relief. She buries her face in brown hair and mutters, "Is the alarm on?"

"Mhmm."

Emma knows that she can heal Regina with her magic. But she has learned something else from the six months they have been dancing this routine. Her presence is just as powerful.

The alarm startles the two women from their peaceful slumber. Emma reaches and turns it off.

"I..." Regina mumbles not fully awaken.

"Shh. Go back to sleep," Emma calms her and Regina is sound asleep again.

Emma stands up and her eyes fall on the two mugs of cold coffee.  _That happens every time_.

She hears a noise coming from the bathroom and gets out of the bedroom but not before covering her almost naked body with Regina's robe.

"Morning, kid," she greets him, leaning on the doorframe.

"Morning, Ma." He turns around with toothpaste in his mouth.

"Your Mom is not feeling well, so I'll take care of you today," she says surprised that he didn't ask.

"I want cereal and milk," he orders and resumes his previous activity like he is not taken back at all to see his birth mother coming out of his adoptive mother's bedroom wearing her robe this early in the morning.

"Sure."

"So why is she sick again? Once every month. It's suspicious," Henry wonders while cleaning the bowl from his cereal.

Emma looks at him and she feels fourteen again when one of her foster mothers, Beth, tried to explain to her what was all the blood on her pants. That was when she got her period for the first time.

"You know that once every month all women get into this mode...I mean..."

"You mean the monthly period?" Henry eyes his mother not believing that she doesn't know what he is learning in school.

"Um...how..."

"What do you think I learn in biology? Dissecting frogs was last year. We learnt a lot about female and male anatomy and all the processes that we are going to when we are in puberty. So yeah, I know about monthly period and I think it's gross," he says like his opinion is the thing that his mother is worried about.

"So... Regina's period is pretty painful." Somehow Emma manages to recover herself from her initial shock.

"But why she's not able to take care of me now? She has never done that. Why now? What changed?" He wipes his hand in the towel and prepares to go to school.

 _Damn, this kid is too smart._ Emma thinks but she can't just blurt "What changed is that we link our magic every time we make love." No she definitely can't say that to her child.

"The curse broke...and her magic is back. I suppose...it's different here..."she tries to explain him the best way she can without really telling him all of it.

"Mom," he calls her with firm voice waiting for her to look at him. When she does he takes his bag, hangs it on his shoulder and continues, "I may be almost thirteen but I'm neither stupid nor deaf. I hear you coming here every night. And you wear her robe. I'll walk myself to school. Bye."

And with that he leaves the house and his blonde mother dumbfounded and with her mouth hanging open.

 _Too smart,_  is the first thought that runs through her mind.  _He knows_ , is the second. She is conflicted. Should she be happy that her son knows about his two mothers being together? Should she be scared that he knows?

She should tell Regina.

Speaking of her...Emma climbs the stairs to the bedroom in no time and opens the door quietly.

Sleeping beauty is what greets her eyes. She smiles and gets one more time under the covers, spooning the other woman again. For now all thoughts of Henry and everyone else for that matter leaves her when she inhales Regina's scent.

Regina awakes suddenly. The first thing her still asleep mind register is a body pressed firmly against her own. The next thing is one hand under the fold of her neck. Then there is another one on her lower abdomen under her pajamas and undies, warming her skin and chasing the pain away. It seems to work because she has been sleeping for...

Regina's eyes find the clock. 12:14. Five hours of sleep in those arms and she feels like she's slept for a whole eternity.

"You awake?" Emma announces that she is not in Dreamland too.

"Mhmm."

"Good. I healed you."

"You what?" Regina spins in her arms facing the other woman and pushes the hand in her pants away. "You healed me with magic?"

"No. You said not to...because that would bond us forever," Emma says. The second part is testing the waters and pushing them forward to admitting that they are together. Because frankly, she is tired of all that sneaking around in the middle of the night and not been able to sleep here.

"I..." Regina stops herself from agreeing with the woman in her bed. She avoids her gaze and that only fuels Emma.

"Is that such bad thing, Regina?"

Green eyes gaze brown with such intensity that the tears start falling down Regina's cheeks. A thumb wipes them.

"We are already bound by Henry. Our magic is practically dry-humping each other all the time, not to mention the lighting show we do every night here. One more bond won't hurt."

Regina has been waiting her whole life to hear such words. But now Emma's words are bitter sweet. Because their life outside this bedroom is different. They are not alone in Storybrooke. They are not safe.

"You sound like..." She shakes her head searching for the right word. "You sound like  _this_  is serious." She motions between herself and the other woman.

"You think it's not?" Emma asks offended and her eyebrows scrunch together. She props herself on her elbow. "You think I am not serious?"

The silence that follows gives her an answer. Apparently she has been giving the other woman the wrong signals.

"You think that me coming here every night is not serious? You think that me respecting your wish to keep it under the radar is not serious? You think that I'm not serious when I make love to you?"

That last sentence hits Regina like a train. Her mask falls even more, revealing the girl she once was. The girl who believed that True Love was in the works for her.

"You think that I leave every night because I want to? I leave because you never asked me to stay and I don't wanna press you in any way. Because what I feel for you...is-is scaring me so fucking much that...if I let it all out...I-I might scare you." Her lower lip quivers, her voice is cracked. Her hand cups the other woman's cheek tenderly. Her eyes lock on Regina's, demanding her to see the truth.

"I come here every single night, Regina. If I wasn't serious...If this was a fling, I would skip nights. I-I would get bored quickly. But most of all I would  _not_  have come here in the middle of the night to take care of  _you_  and make the pain go away. I would go somewhere else."

Regina can't hold the tears back. Emma's words are so intense and full with admiration and care that it practically hurts. She swears her heart is going to combust any second now from the feelings dancing inside.

"If I had someone else I would. But...It's only you. I have only you. If you didn't read the signs then I...I don't know...I have to hit you over the head with it."

They both chuckle and Regina rests her head on the bed close to Emma's chest. She could feel the heart that could not be removed from its place beating widely. Because of her. She could sense Emma's magic swirling around, freely connecting with hers. It's funny because apparently their magic has no problem fitting together every time they are in the same room. The magic doesn't feel shame. It is not afraid. It doesn't think. It's emotion.

Emma blinks rapidly and she sees the woman in front of her a little clearer. She clears her throat.

"Regina, I love you. I have loved you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. I have loved  _only_  you."

Her heart swells up with the confession of her feelings. Admitting them out loud for the first time feels like a huge burden is off her shoulders. Though there is the possibility of the feeling not being mutual.

Regina wipes her tears and smiles at the woman who had just declared her love.

"I..." she gulps audibly, "I never thought I'd hear these words again. When you were in the Enchanted Forest I told Henry that I don't know how to love very well. Which is not true. I-I don't..." She looks away from Emma with tears falling again," I don't know how to love at all. I'm not sure I can love or deserve it."

"But you do remember that Daniel told you to love again, right? That's what you told me." Emma received a nod. "What he meant is that you have to let yourself. You have to...try."

"Do you know how to love?" Regina looks at the other woman like a lost puppy waiting to be taught at the new trick. Like a little girl searching for guidance.

"Ha. No. At least I am trying. You know...I am here every night and I do as you tell me. I'm content with what you give. I want so much more but pressing...It won't get me far. It will have the opposite effect."

"Wow, that was deep, Emma," Regina utters with the most serious voice she can muster.

"Really, woman?" Emma raises her eyebrows. "I'm pouring out my soul here and all you can say is that I dig deep." In a flash she rolls them over so she can hover over Regina. Grabbing the other woman's wrists she pins them above the brown hair "If you weren't in this state I would show you  _exactly_  how deep I dig."

"I know." Regina nods. "Do you know you are an ass?"

"An ass that you lo..." Emma shuts her mouth because that is pushing. She made a promise to herself after their night together that she will wait. She will give Regina hints and signals and wait for her to say it first. But that apparently didn't work until now.

"Go ahead. Say it." The dare in Regina's voice is unsettling and makes the other woman nervous.

Or is Regina pushing herself?

"I'm an ass that you love." Her words, barely a whisper, reach the brunette's ears and melt her insides. That is the great power of love. Even admitting the feelings is enough to turn every one into a ball of emotions.

And even the Evil Queen herself is powerless before it.

"Yes. I love you, Emma." Regina finally admits it to herself and out loud. She captures the other woman's pale lips in a kiss pouring all the love stocked inside of her.

It is slow moving lips with tongues caressing each other. Gone is the fight for dominance. Gone is the teasing. Gone is the dispute for who is on top, who is leader. Because this moment is not about that. This moment is about letting all out. This moment is about their love, which they have nurtured in their hearts for so long.

Regina feels a hand snaking around her waist and then landing on her butt. She wraps her left leg over the naked hip as the hand squeeze the firm flesh. She slips her hands behind Emma's neck and presses their bodies together.

Emma moves her leg between Regina's and starts rocking in sync with the woman underneath.

Time rolls as the two women continue to kiss. Soon their slight grinding becomes too much of a tease. Regina wants so badly to continue this but it is her period that causes her distress. So she decides that she will pleasure Emma and her...in a few days.

But to her surprise it is Emma that breaks the kiss and connects their foreheads. They take deep breaths in time with each other and hold their eyes locked.

Regina goes for another kiss but this time Emma gives her small peck of the lips.

"If we continue we might not stop and with your condition..." Emma starts but is cut off.

"I know but that doesn't mean I can't..."

"No. I mean I want you to but today I am here to take care of  _you_. As I was doing it for the last half year every time your period visited us. So I'll do whatever you had planned for today while you just lie here and look beautiful." Emma rests on her left side, pulling away from the other woman and missing her warmth already.

"So no..."

"No," she shakes her head.

"Even a little bit."

"God, I forgot you are so horny on the first day," Emma says and both women laugh.

"I'm horny all the time, dear." Regina manages to recover first.

"Yeah, right. That's why you kick me out of your bed every night." But once the words are out Emma regrets them.

"I did not do such thing." Regina pretends to be offended by putting a hand over heart. "You just walked away on your own accord."

"You never stopped me."

"You never asked. I didn't stop you because I didn't think this was serious for you. I didn't want to be the clingy half."

"I never asked because I know your past and I didn't want to force you into anything you weren't ready for."

"I was ready since our first time."

"And wet..." But that earns Emma a slap on her biceps. "Hey, no violence. This is non-violent relationship."

"Well, good thing you told me."

"Have you realized that we suck at reading each other's signals?" Emma shakes her head at the absurdness.

"If you had made the first step..."

"Why me?" Emma shrieks.

Regina winces at the loud sound and responds, "Because I am a lady."

"And I am not?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you ride like a man." Regina flashes a satisfied smirk.

"You watch too much "The L Word" and I do no such thing." Emma scowls.

"It's a great show and you do. But can we get back to the more important issue here?"

Emma just nods in response still processing her lover's words that she rides like a man. No one has ever said that to her before.

"You said you are going to do what I had planned for today."

Another nod.

"Well," Regina raises herself resting her back on the headboard and points towards the bathroom. "There is the basket with dirty laundry. You need to separate color from white. Put the white clothes first and do not  _sniff_  or  _play_  with them because I know you would be tempted. I'll be watching from here."

"God, you are insufferable," Emma roars and gets out of the bed quickly.

"That's why you love me."

"Let's see what we have here." She kneels before the basket, ignoring the other woman words and starts rummaging in it. "Black laced...whatever that is." She pulls a garment out of examines it. "Interesting," she says after a few moments and puts it on her leg.

"Put that in the other basket." She hears from behind.

"White cotton panties...That will be used for these days. Oh, red laced thong. I'll save it for dry days."

Something soft hits her in the back of her head but she manages to catch it. A pillow.

"You just assaulted a police officer, lady. Luckily for you I am taking your undies into custody instead of you."

She turns around and sticks her tongue out.


	2. Chapter 2

Doing the former Evil Queen and current Mayor of Storybrooke, Regina Mills', laundry, is not what Emma signed up for. Well, to be perfectly honest, she didn't sign up for any of the shit that had happened since she set foot in this little town.

She didn't sign up for being the curse breaker aka the Savior of an entire land. She never wanted to meet her family and become best friends with her mother and Red Riding Hood, of all people. Well, somewhere deep inside, she did want to meet her parents and demand an explanation about why she was abandoned on the side of the road like trash. She did get that. "You were destined to be the Savior. We put you into a magical wardrobe so you can go into this new world and after 28..." That is when Emma stopped listening to their explanation. It was dumb, if she had to be polite. After all, they were her parents.

And then there is Regina. She definitely didn't sign up for falling for her son's other mother. Though that is definitely a plus, Emma muses.

"Emma, I'm hungry." Regina's husky voice sends chills up and down her body.

"Coming." And she can't help but laughing at the pun intended.

"What do you want, Your Majesty?" Emma bows when she comes out of the laundry room.

"Don't mock my title." Regina raises her finger and tries to stand in the Queen's pose but no luck. She bites her tongue and decides it's best to use just her voice to influence Emma.

"I'm not mocking. You are still Queen, right? I mean, I don't know much about the laws over there, but I..." The blonde stops because Regina is looking like she wants to kill her. She walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, feeling the other woman's magic around her.

Regina eyes the woman sitting inches away from her. Why is she here again? No one has ever taken care of her. Why is Emma, of all people, the first one? Brushing away these thoughts, she remembers that Emma is waiting for an explanation.

"I...Technically, I haven't been dethroned. But there is no one in my kingdom to be ruled."

"Do you wanna go back and live there?" Emma asks with sadness in her eyes.

"No." Regina replies too quickly for her liking. She clears her throat and looks directly at Emma. "I want to stay here."

And it's almost like she wants to say something more.

"I'm glad we are on the same page here." Emma says after a while. It is strange that the silence between them is no longer awkward. It feels...good and welcome.

"Not completely...I'm still hungry."

They both laugh.

"I didn't know you are so funny, Madame Mayor." Emma reaches out and caresses the other woman's cheek.

"There are a lot of thing you don't know about me, Emma." The brunette leans into the warm touch and feels the butterflies in her stomach kicking her. It's good feeling though.

"I would like to get to know you." The younger woman whispers and presses her lips against the red ones. It's just a quick peck but enough to speed up her heartbeat.

Emma pulls back and they both lick their lips.

"Well, you can start by making me breakfast. No. Scratch that. I want you to buy me a burger from Granny's. She knows what kind I like."

"Really? You eat burgers?" Emma chuckles and refuses to believe it.

"Yes, for some unknown reason I crave burgers on my first day." Regina looks away from the blonde, ashamed.

But to the younger woman, she looks like a cute puppy.

"Just when I thought I couldn't l-like you even more," Emma stutters at the L word.

She was going to say the big L but decided against it. Somehow, she is still afraid of pushing too far and forcing Regina to come to terms with their feelings. Okay. They said it once. It is not like they have to say it all the time right? That's how people in love act, right?

Regina can practically see the questions spinning in the other woman's mind. She looks so adorable when she is processing.

"How about you buy me that burger and I will grant you three questions?"

"Why three?" Emma asks, although she suspects why. She and Regina has lived their whole lives with walls up, and bringing them down takes time and patience; all in baby steps.

"I want to..." Not sure if Emma is gonna like the idea. "I want to take it slowly with the getting to know each other part."

"Why?" The blonde wonders what she did wrong.

"Because I feel like we rushed things. The past six months, though they have been great...We feel more for each other than just that, right? We both want more than just that?"

"We already have that, so now it's time to have the other thing." Emma smiles at how simply Regina talks about something so big, and it makes the knot in her stomach even bigger. It's unsettling to understand how much you actually want from someone six months after you are intimate with them. "Okay. Taking it slow...I-I'm down with it."

"Thank you for understanding." A smile spread across Regina's face, and Emma can't help but smile back.

Again, a silence envelopes them as they stare at each other like they haven't seen each other at all. And maybe they haven't.

"So... I have to get you a burger from Granny's, right?" Emma asks after a while.

"Yes." Regina says, but looks down at her hands.

"And what else?"

But the woman next to Emma doesn't say anything. Brown eyes are focused on their hands like they are the only thing in the world.

"I promise I won't laugh if it's some bizarre craving..."

"No, it's not that." Regina cuts her off, looking up at green eyes. "It's... _ladies' articles_ " comes out as barely audible words, which she hopes Emma doesn't hear.

But she does.

"Oh, okay." Emma says like it's no big thing.

She slides out of the bedroom and looks around.

"Shit. I have to go back to my house to get money and dress."

"If you want, I can lend something to you?" She hears from behind her.

Turning around, she sees Regina lying on her stomach and brown eyes glued to her butt.

"Well, there is that blue silky shirt that fits me for sure."

"Did you sleep with it when Henry gave it to you?" Regina asks with a playful note in her voice.

"No. I just... enjoyed it since that was the only thing I was going to get." Emma teases further.

"Then..." Regina slowly stands up to see if the world will spin again. It doesn't. She sits on her knees at the edge of the bed and reaches her hands towards the hem of Emma's boy shorts, pulling the woman towards her. "Why haven't you returned it, since you are getting me?"

Emma's legs hit the edge of the bed and she looks down, "Coz I can't get enough of your smell." She admits, taking Regina's face in her hands and kissing her hard.

Emma breaks the kiss, swallowing her arousal. "I-I...clothes..." She looks over Regina to her wardrobe. "From there."

"Help yourself." Regina gives her permission with a wave of her hand. She lies down again, but this time facing the wardrobe.

A few minutes later, Emma emerges with black leggings and a black tank-top, grinning. "Awesome. I have never imagined you wearing this type of clothes."

"How do you think this body is maintained?" Regina arches a questioning eyebrow.

"I thought the curse took care of it." Emma walks towards the door.

"The curse only stopped the aging. But I started exercising when I saw it on TV one day, some...twenty years ago if I recall correctly."

Emma freezes in her spot and turns to face Regina with her jaw clenched. She squeezes her fists, which doesn't go unnoticed by the other woman.

Gulping, she asks softly, "What it is?" Though she is fairly certain what bothered the blonde.

Emma points a finger at her and says, avoiding eye contact, "You... Twenty years ago, I was eight and I had just moved into my second foster home."

 _Oops, there it is_ , Regina thinks, but remains silent. The playfulness that inhibited the room seconds ago is replaced by their unresolved issues.

"I-I..." Emma's hand goes slack against her hip. Her bottom lip starts to shake. She blinks rapidly. "I prayed for that t-to be my...  _last_  home. So I wouldn't have to move after... a while."

She looks at the woman before her, and for the first time since the curse broke, she sees Regina for who she truly is: the woman who ripped her out of her family and left her an orphan.

And with that, Emma leaves the room without giving Regina a chance to say anything.

Just like that, the pain returns to Regina as she lies down on the bed. The pain that cuts through her lower abdomen is nothing compared to the pain in her heart. Damn be this organ. It had always caused her troubles. This time, it hurt even more, because she knows that the feelings she has for Emma are like nothing she had experienced before. It is nothing like what she felt for Daniel. It is much stronger and so different. It makes her feel alive and crave more. It makes her feel  _safe_. It makes her feel like  _someone_. Yet it hurts because...

Regina sighs at the realization.

The past six months have been a  _mistake_. They have completely ignored the feelings in them and jumped into bed without thinking. Instead of letting it all out in bed, they kept the feelings inside. They pushed them further inside, afraid of what will happen when it all surfaced. And this is what happened – a complete mess. They have never talked about the past and now it is a problem. She suspects Emma has never thought about her past at all when her head was buried between tanned thighs.

"Fuck."

They both blew it. They both screwed up their chance. And now, Regina is pretty sure that the blonde will never come back through that door or magically appear again.

Stupid. Stupid. So stupid. She is so stupid. How could she forget who she is when she's in bed? The woman who is the reason she grew up in all the screwed up homes she was.

Emma strides to her apartment as she hits a nearby rock but with her big finger and it fucking hurts.

"Dammit." She curses, but it's more about her current situation not her finger.

Shaking off her legs, she looks around.

It's the middle of the day and she has just left Regina's house. There are few people that cross the roads of Storybrooke because a lot of the people went back to the Enchanted Forest. Her parents also went there. They just left her...again. And this time, they weren't threatened by any curse. They did it on their own. Sure, they visit every weekend, but it is not the same. She wants them around her. Sure, they had suggested that she could go there with them, but the idea of living in a world without Internet, indoor plumbing, and Granny's food is not an appealing idea.

There is of course Henry who she loves with all her heart now. He goes to her apartment, Snow's former one, every other day, and after helping him with his homework, they play cards, darts, or go in the park and kick the ball until they are so hungry that they could eat everything in Granny's. The kid is calm now. He is not walking around and worrying about the happy endings, because according to him they will be...  _in time_.

And then there is Regina.  _Regina_... Complicated is an understatement. When Emma came first to the little town, that woman did anything by her power to drive her away. And yet Emma  _stayed_. She stayed because... Why? Because of Henry? No. Admitting that would be lying. She stayed because there was something off when she asked Regina whether she loves Henry. And looking at it from her perspective now, Regina probably didn't feel love. Or maybe she had forgotten how to love. Has she ever been in love? Did she remember anything during the curse?

On the spur of the moment, she stops. She doesn't know  _shit_  about the woman whose sheets she rocked for the last six months.

So stupid. Because Regina is not one night stand, and yet, Emma had treated her just like one; having sex without a single question. Well, at least she knows her name.

"Fuck me." Emma spins around and heads to the pharmacy and Granny's.

Thirty minutes later, she magics herself to Regina's bedroom without so much as a warning. She sways lightly while the purple cloud of her magic disappears completely.

"You are here?" Regina is lying on the bed with hands covering her eyes and tries to sound annoyed, but it really isn't working because Emma sees her fighting a smile that wants to show her true feelings.

"Yeah... Well, you need supplies so..." Emma hands the other woman the paper bag.

Regina lifts her body and leans her head on the headboard.

Emma watches closely as Regina opens it and pulls out what's inside. She sees her smiling at the burger, which is put on the night stand. She sees her pulling out the next item with excitement. But the frown that followed is unexpected.

"What is that?" Regina asks, holding a box of tampons.

"Um... These tampons are for me." She grabs them, but then the curiosity overtakes her. "Why, you don't use them?"

"The curse repeated the same day over and over again. That is until you came."

"So you haven't had a period for twenty eight years?"

Regina hesitates for a second. "Yes."

"Ha. Lucky you. Is... Is that why you decide to adopt? Coz you weren't able to have kids because of time standing still?"

"Yes. I didn't use any protections with Graham. At first, I was happy that I couldn't get pregnant."

"Seriously everyone would be. And then?"

"After five years, I started to think otherwise, that I wanted a child. But I couldn'thave one, so I decided to adopt."

"How did Gold know that Henry is mine?"

"That I have no idea of, Emma."

"I blew my three questions. Now it's your turn."

And both women realize at the moment that three questions are not enough. Three questions will get them nowhere.

Not that they know where they want to go, but still...

"So why you use only pads?"

"When I first went to the pharmacy, the pads were the only item that was familiar for me. It was just like the pads we used in the Enchanted Forest. Why did you always buy for yourself too?"

"Because for some reason, mine always follows yours."

Silence fills the room as Emma sits down on the edge of the bed and stares at the tampons at her hand.

Regina takes the burger in her hand and unwraps it. It really is delicious, but her mind is soon filled with more important issues. Emma's cycle is in sync with hers and that's yet another bond. There are already linked enough by their magic and their mixed feelings. Now their bodies seem to have no problem mimicking each other, which bring the question: Can they overcome their issues, like the magic and their bodies already have?

"So... is that burger good?" Emma cuts her thoughts.

"Mhmm."

"Good. How is the pain?"

"It came when you left and left when you came back. I guess it can't tolerate you."

They both chuckle and the awkward tension is no longer there.

 _Too easy_ , Regina thinks.

"Oh, look at you, cracking jokes already. I must be some healer."

"You are."

Their eyes find each other and smiles appear on their faces.

Regina takes another bite of her burger while Emma watches her in awe.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. This fic is back. A little short, a lot of fluff and very vague rape scene in italics at the end. Thank you for still being here with me.
> 
> Enjoy!

"What is it?" Regina asks tentatively as she raises her eyes to meet green ones.

Emma raises from the bed slowly and starts pacing around.

"Can we do this? I mean... getting to know each other? I-I don't know how... to do it."

"And you think I can?" Regina answered quickly in a harsher tone than she intended. She mentally kicked herself for that. Internally berating herself, she continued in a softer tone. "I guess when one of us has a question, they ask and the other answers truthfully."

"Being honest is the way to go, yeah. But the truth hurts." Emma stated sounding so naive.

"Emma, the truth hurts indeed. And for myself, the truth will hurt twice as much. Believe me." Regina reached out her hand and waited for Emma to sit down on the bed again. "I don't want to cause you any more pain than I already have. Because, believe me, I know that my actions resulted in you growing up without a family. And that hurts me. Because you are the only person I regret doing this to. I don't care about anyone else and how the curse affected them. I care about you only. Emma, I love you like I never imagined I would." Tears streamed down Regina's cheeks when she finished her little speech. Her bottom lip shook and her watering eyes held Emma's gaze.

Emma was crying also. Plain and simple she was crying because she sensed the intensity of Regina's feelings due to their magical connection. It's was like she personally was feeling it. Though she knew what she was feeling was pale in comparison to what Regina was actually feeling.

"I... I love you too, Regina. But...what you did to me and the others hasn't really sunken in yet."

"You were too preoccupied when you were between my legs."

It was not snapping or clever remark but it felt like such to Emma. She even winced at the sentence.

"I was and I don't regret it." She says without missing a beat. "But it was mistake. And now we are going to fix it, right?"

""Yes, we are. Together."

"Together."

Then Regina finished her burger with the one person she'd ever allow to witness it.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Regina murmurs, almost regretting it. But she knows she won't be able to stand without Emma's help and it wasn't the time to be stubborn. It was the time for her to accept the offered hand. It was time she learned how to rely on someone else other than herself. And, there – standing at the edge of her bed, was the very person who was willing to be there for her. To aid her.

"Okay." Emma took the burger wrapping and placed it on the nightstand.

She waited for Regina to lift herself slowly from the bed into sitting position. She watched as the other woman grimaced at the pain she was feeling. There was no point of asking whether it hurt because it was obvious.

Emma snaked one arm around the other woman's waist and with her other she took Regina's hand.

Allowing the majority of her weight rest on Emma, Regina got out of bed fighting the nausea and the sharp pain in her lower abdomen. The bathroom felt like it was miles away but they reach it eventually.

Regina was pleasantly surprised by Emma's patience. The heat from the other woman's body eased the pain and made it all just a little bit better. Regina thanked her lucky stars or whatever for giving her a personal Savior.

Lost in her thoughts and guided by Emma she didn't realize when they reached the bathroom until she was placed on the toilet.

"Let me get the pads from the bag," Emma said and disappeared.

"Okay," Regina murmured to the empty bathroom.

Seconds later the blonde was back with a package of pads in hand.

"Should I give you privacy?"

"Privacy?" Regina threw her a pointed look. "That word was lost somewhere in between the sheets."

Both women laughed at the joke, and at themselves. For a moment Regina felt like she could stay in that happy bubble forever.

"Good one, Regina." Emma praised.

"Can you explain me the tampons?" Regina asked tentatively.

"Um... Sure." Emma shook her hands out nervously. Was this how mothers felt when they had to explain periods to their daughters?

She took a tampon out of the box. She looked briefly at the object before returning it and then opening another box. A smaller one.

"Why did you turn that back? What is the difference?" Regina questioned.

"I use the other ones on my first days when there is more blood. The size would be too big for you."

Regina lifts an eyebrow looking offended.

"You can barely take three fingers inside you. You can take it but you wouldn't be comfortable with that thing inside of you."

The care in Emma's voice doesn't go unnoticed by Regina.

"Okay. Thank you."

Green eyes meet brown. A look of understanding and gratitude passes between them.

"Pants down," Emma said smirking.

"Is this your idea of foreplay?" Regina teased as she stood to lower her pants and underwear.

"You know my brand of foreplay."

"I do know." A beat and then, "And I wouldn't have it any other way." Regina uses the opportunity to gain some brownie points with her lover while removing the used pad.

"Now, I'm going to put this inside you." Emma shakes the tampon unwrapping it carefully.

"I can do that on my own, thank you."

"I know. I just want to show you how it feels like."

"Are you sure we are talking about the same thing?"

"No."

Laughs echoed in the bathroom again.

Is this happiness? Emma questioned herself.

"Okay," Regina cleared her throat after a while. "Let's get on with it."

"As you wish, your Majesty." Emma winked at the other woman and waited for her to lean her back on the wall behind the toilet.

She took the tampon in her right hand and brought it to Regina's entrance. She pushed just the tip inside when she met some serious resistance from the velvet walls. She waited few seconds thinking that it might be too much.

Regina's grimace confirms it at first. But then her features soften and she exhales.

It's Emma's cue to push more. She does it slowly, her eyes never leaving the other woman's face. All doubt disappeared when Regina moaned and rolled her hips.

"Fuck," she cursed through her teeth embarrassed by her body's reaction.

Emma stilled her hand and chuckled. She leaned forward to place a kiss on her inner thigh.

"I shouldn't be turned on so much." Regina admitted chuckling.

"Well, I'm between your legs so..."

"So you're saying its natural?"

"Am I not your best female lover?"

"You might as well be my best lover ever."

Emma rewarded her with another kiss on her thigh, this time closer to her sex.

"Don't get too cocky."

"You have no idea how hard my ego is now."

"I can only imagine. Is that it?"

"Yes, it's all in." Emma said as she looked down at the cord which fell naturally from between Regina's lips.

"It didn't hurt." Regina marveled. Emma thought that she was so used to the pain that she expected it to come from everything.

"No. But stay still for a bit, just in case you have some kind of reaction."

"What? Is it going to just pop out of me?"

"Nope," Emma chuckles. "You'll feel discomfort. You might even pass out."

"Why?" Regina shifted a little and that worried Emma.

"You okay?"

"Yes. It's not discomfort... It's just... I guess it is weird to have this foreign object in me." Regina explained truthfully.

"So that means toys are out of the question?" Emma winked.

"What kind of toys?"

"Sex toys. Please don't tell me that you didn't use toys in FTL?"

"We did. But they were solely for the royal's use. Plus, it's supposed to be secret."

"Yeah? What did you use?" Emma asked as she lifts herself from the floor offering a hand to Regina.

The other woman pulled up her panties and slowly stood up. She barely feels the tampon in her.

"Mostly magical dildos." Regina admitted with ease.

"So you can magic them? Can you teach me?"

"I suppose I could" Regina acquiesced

"Awesome." Emma beamed like a little child.

They moved slowly back to the bedroom. Regina sat down on the bed with her back against the headboard.

"Should I tuck you in?" Emma teased.

"I'm not Henry, Emma."

"I was going to offer a kiss on the forehead too but..."

"I didn't say I didn't want the kiss. But not on the forehead."

"You are insatiable." Emma said and placed her hand on the other woman's cheek.

"You are irritating but..." Regina is cut off by soft lips on her own. She smiles into the kiss and then opens her mouth in invitation.

Emma gets the hint and deepens the kiss pressing her body further into Regina's.

Soon the need for air parts the two women. Regina smiles panting. Emma moves down until her head is over the brunette's chest. The raise and fall of the chest soon evens, the steady rhythm sending Emma to sleep.

After a while, Regina falls asleep with Emma's arms around her. It just feels so natural and fuzzy. The warmth coming from her lover allows her to drift off.

* * *

_It's night. It's cold. She is in her room. He is inside her again, tearing her young flesh once more. It's always the same schedule... twice a week. It's the worst and the pain is constant. Her body always aches when she walks the day after, when she tries to fall asleep at night, when she rides, when she breaths. It's ongoing. The pain is tattooed to her soul. Because her body is past the stage of actively feeling. It's numb and constant._

_But now the memory is more vivid than ever. It's colored. It's live._

_She doesn't fight. She just lies on the bed... Praying? No, it won't help. Waiting? Yes. Soon it will be over and she will be back to her alone time when she can try and heal herself. And he will be back to his own room._

She wakes up with a start, skin covered with thin layer of sweat. She looked around and sees the woman she loves with all her heart sleeping soundly next to her.

The realization hits her harder than she expected. She has earned the love she has now with all the pain she has suffered. Everything had to happen in order for her to be here. In this warm bed with the woman she loves.

She sighed, the dread in the pit of her stomach dissipating as heart flitters with happiness and love. She lied down once again and in a matter of seconds she was asleep again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? *smiles shyly* Good? Bad? Suggestions? Criticism?
> 
> Till next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Feels?


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